Text: Celestial, the end

I envision a thrilling end to my life. Walking in the light rain today, shirtless, sweating and tired from an earlier workout, I pictured an incoming meteor slamming into the Earth. The impact so great, rotting and fresh Earth poured out like a bullet tearing the flesh of the Earth and it's mud, worms, and water flying into the air like blood. I stand and wait. There is no question anymore of my fate. This is it, the moment. My gut flinches. I let the intensity of the situation flow over my body; a new kind of warmth hits my skin. The warmth of endless emotion pouring throughout my body like I poured a shot of whisky down my throat and it poured over my organs and soaked into my skin. I raise my arms and embrace it. My body becomes one with the Earth, momentarily as it drives through me; its power rips my skin, and for a second, I know the Earth's pain. Then I am gone. I am no more. All I had been thinking about that day, worried about that week, it is all nothing. I have returned to the blackness from which I spawned; but is it life or is it death? Are we dead now, waiting to release to finally begin living? The way a Christian talks, I really begin to wonder where we are at all.

Yesterday I watched the sun dive in and out of storm clouds. They were flying across the skyline like smoke. The sun was like a peering eye through it all. It popped in and out of the broken cloud formations, but as it slipped back under the cover, all its rays fell off. It was a dull, white circle. There was nothing flowing off of it and I could stare at it perfectly. It has watched down over me all my life; now I could finally return an even gaze. The sun's skin was peeled back, we could see eye to eye; we were on the same level. It could not longer injure my skin with its exploding heat. It could not reach to stab my eyes. It sat behind the veil of the clouds, waiting until it was time to strike again.

I became lost in the silence and serenity of that summer moment. I did not contemplate existence; I did not think of myself, my family, friends,or loves; I was just an observer, nothing more.