When I’m driving on the old streets I grew up on, there come’s a point when I really start to think. I'll be listening to new music, but it will remind me of familiar feelings. I start to contemplate existence. It is a rather deep subject that doesn't need my critique on a blog. Although, I can't help but wonder if at 85 the paint will be dull--if it will be fresh--if it will remind me that I am old.
I wonder what I will think of when I'm old. I certainly hope I don't reflect back and wonder what I will be thinking when I'm old. I hope I don't look back and wonder what I was thinking then. I can only hope that everything I do is progressive. I hope I am always taking a step forward.
When I cross the same streets, I hope I bring with me a new perspective.
I am starting to learn more about myself by dealing with school. I spend a lot of my day complaining about how poorly I am doing, when in reality I'm not doing "that" bad. I'm doing as can be expected for a person who works full-time and takes 15 credit hours. I am not excellent in any course, but I am not failing. I am in the middle. That is fine. I know that I am not motivated enough to get high scores. I am losing that particular feeling of worry that ignites in the crawl space of my stomach--the one that nearly burned the operation down before it could be contained.
I am starting to notice things more. I notice that I need people less. I can rely on myself. I am confident that I am attractive, funny, and witty. Nothing externally can intimidate me to shake that vision. Sure, I might not write the best articles in class, or the best papers--I suck at test taking, for sure--but it doesn't bring me down. Sometimes you have to realize that certain things just don't matter much. This is life, and when I cross those same old streets, I never want to adventure them with insecurity. I never want to cross them depressed. I've made it a goal to embark on the voyage of my life determined for success but above all, happiness.
Just a random thought for Friday. Have a great weekend.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
i love this post! and i see that confidence building in you also!
and i give you mad props dude--anyone who can take fifteen hours and work full time and not go crazy it wicked hardcore. you should feel good about accomplishing all that.
Post a Comment