Ugh. I feel like a leper. My underarm is rotting off from some stupid rash related to dry skin and deodorant, and my leg has a huge swollen hump from a spider bite. There are also random bites around my stomach area as well. It's nice to know I'm a tasty treat, but it sucks to have all these gross spots around my body.
Anyway, I've had a lot on my plate lately. Ever since Rachel and I split in July I've been trying to relax my anxious tendencies with prozac and psychological help. My insurance ran out in August after I graduated, unfortunately. So I decided to use the natural form of stress relief by filling my life with things that I am passionate about. I've always been interested in writing and drawing, but those are only temporary releases I cannot put to much use right now. Instead I'm tapping into my once shelved music passions. I love karaoke so much that I've decided to start working with a vocal coach who I met at my bar. She is a former Westminster High choir teacher who is actually a really classy and beautiful lady with a great voice. I've been seeing her for a half hour, once a week, for about fifteen weeks. On top of that, I dusted off my old electric guitar to take lessons bi-weekly with another lady I met at 92nd. What's funny is all of these things have been trumped by my love for drumming (which I'm not entirely sure if this came first in my life as a kid, or if piano did). I bought a five piece floor-kit with a four-piece Zildjan cymbal set. Right now I'm taking lessons bi-weekly on these as well. I have the real Rock Band going on at my house, prompted by my love for the fake version on xbox. It's really keeping my brain active and my spirits up. My love for music has taken me all over iTunes in search of new bands and new styles of music. I'm really digging metalcore bands, including bands with strong female vocals.
That's just a little recap on the last month or two in my music world.
I'm really excited to be alone for once. I've been in three long-term relationships; one four year and two one-and-a-half years. I can't say exactly what I've learned from each one entirely, but I do know that I've gained confidence with women. After Rachel and I broke up I had a streak of women in my life, and nothing was really too far-fetched for me to pursue. I think it's because of my confidence coupled with my newfound happiness in music. I've always known that confidence and happiness are the keys. Lisa reminded me that if I embody what I want to find in someone else, that I will. It's good advice, since for the longest time I've surrounded myself with things that hold me back from who I am. It's great to just love all the things I am.
Tomorrow I'm going to flesh out some more stuff to catch this blog up. I just wanted to get something up before I went to bed tonight.
Some things I really like right now:
Pink Floyd
Maria Brink (lead singer of In This Moment)
Rock Band
Sober sex in the afternoon
Some things I'm not really a fan of lately:
People who text me "?" and nothing else. How can you ask a question without any words?
The effects of alcohol on most people.
The effect of Chad on new female servers.
People who make a plan and don't follow through.
Blood blisters from drumming.
The scariness of STDs.
Something silly:
A black girl that I work with was walking through the kitchen of Pappadeaux yesterday and exclaimed,
"Man, it would be weird to be allergic to paprika."
I couldn't help myself.
"I think it would be weird to be African-American," I said.
2 comments:
STDs are bitches. i mean why ruin such a nice thing as sex? humph!
i love this post! there is a quote "follow your bliss" and i feel like it is an excellent way to live life and it sounds very much like what you're doing! it reminds me how sometimes we all sit around analysing our lives and what we need to do to be happy when in fact we just need to start DOING things that make us happy!
i have noticed a certain...peace to you as of late. like a peace with yourself and with not being in a relationship. i think it's lovely, and it must feel nice. just living in the moment and enjoying yourself and your life. yea!
i love your sober sex in the afternoon--something about it seems very literary and intimate and wonderful :)
i also hate the "?" text--i can only assume it means they didn't understand my previous text, except often my text was very clear. i have taken to simply not responding to the "?" text--i figure if they really want to know something they will use their words haha.
also, i feel as the last time i saw you was thanksgiving and i was drunk you might mean me as well :) hahah, though then i realized no one can be charming all the time and just appreciated the honesty of the statement. also i hope you actually got to see the angry drunk mexican guy with his shirt off yelling at no one outside sweetwater--it was one of the best bad decisions i've ever had the joy to witness :)
and finally i love the conversation about paprika! haha i've been puzzeled by paprika for the past several months actually--i found it in my cupboard and i'm never sure what the hell i'm supposed to use it for. so i love that she clearly uses it so much she can't imagine life without it hahaha. and i'm assuming the comment was in part based on the impression that african amercian's seem to use paprika a lot? (i don't know if that's even true, it's just one of those things that i think i've noticed, but am not sure if i have enough information to make such a generalized statement haha.) did she find your comment amusing?
hmm and i'm out of things to say...
stace
i wrote a poem about the effects of alcohol on people. i'll find it and post it.
who is chad?
why does ? bother you exactly?
it certainly conveys the idea of wonder and question. not a problem for me. i didnt know you were off meds, but now that you mention it, you do seem more high strung at work again.
also, stds are only scary before you know whether you have one or not. then it's just about getting meds or not getting meds. so, find out and you wont be scared.
we are usually only scared of the things we dont understand or dont know.
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