Life's wonders. . .

I can't explain why I think what I think, when I do. I get so absorbed in film. The music, the presentation, the emotions people are feeling it all combines and channels into me. I feel electrified by what I am seeing on the big screen and for a split second, I feel like I'm actually alive. It's like I plug myself into the fantasy and fail to pull myself out, until I hit the brisk winter air. Yet, the chill enhances my high, my skin's sensation mirrors the rush I feel inside.

Tonight I was watching Enchanted. I was spending some time with Rachel and decided to compromise to see a movie that wasn't so intense, dark, and dramatic. It was a good change, but I couldn't help but feel something strange during the end of the movie. I won't spoil it, but I got the impression, as I do with all Disney movies, that you should let yourself never get so serious, and that fantasy is not always as good as reality - but yet you shouldn't completely relieve yourself of the fantasy either. I began thinking of a future when I have kids.

Since I'm not religious, I am at a loss for words as to what I can preface this sentence with to elaborate on how serious I am about how much I hope I am never more serious than needs to be. When I'm a father I hope I am able to be a kid with my children and give them every reason to smile, grow with confidence, and enjoy every moment of their lives. I hope if I have a son he never looks and me and says "Dad you're stupid." for something silly I say or 'make believe.' I began thinking about Big Fish. How the dad made everything bigger than it truly was, but the point was not that he was lying to his son, but that he wanted life to be a grand adventure - to be full of imagination, wonder and excitement. When I'm on my death bed, I hope my son can understand who I am, and I hope he can finish the story for me.